My Teenagers are Entitled and I’m Okay With That!

As my 15-year-old jumped out of the car to start her day at school she asked, “can you get the laundry done today?” SAY WHAT? I replied in a harsh tone, “did you sort your laundry?”  “No, but can you at least do the lights?” I fumed on the ride back home. Justine knows perfectly well if she sorts her laundry, it gets done.

When I arrived home, my 13-year-old son sauntered down the stairs and proclaimed his hunger. He had the day off school and missed the normal routine of Dad providing breakfast before he headed off to work. As I sorted Justine’s laundry, I told Jack he could put a waffle in the toaster for himself. “Nah, that’s too much work, I’ll just have cereal.” Reeeaaaalllly?

I wondered what we had done to ourselves. These are the teenagers we have raised. Where did we go wrong?

I entertained the idea of leaving Justine’s laundry for her to do herself after school and Jack, and Jack could just eat that cereal.

Then, I remembered what I say to my husband most mornings as I kiss him goodbye.

“Love and Joy! Remember to have Love and Joy in your heart!”

As a Vice Principal, Steve is met with overwhelming amounts of hate.

I had recently read that hate only aggravates hate but love is the answer to hate.

Love and Joy, Bridget! Love and Joy! Your daughter is disgusted that the laundry isn’t done, you can meet her with disgust or you can meet her with love.

It took a shift in attitude but I chose love! After all, I do LOVE my children!

In relaying the morning with my husband that evening, his response was, “a little entitlement is going on around here, eh”?

Oh no! There’s that word. The word that conjures up thoughts of those living the good life off others’ backs.

Have we raised entitled teens? I feared for their futures.

I feared the same way I did when friends caught wind of the fact that our children slept in our room most nights. I would commonly hear;

“You know, you’ll never be able to get them to sleep in their own rooms.”

“It’s not good for them to sleep with you.”

“They’ll be in high school and still in your bed.”

UGH!

I had to know if my teenagers were entitled.

I looked up the definition of entitlement and here’s what I found:

Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

Sometimes, though, people feel they are entitled to special treatment because they think they are more worthy than others. This usage of entitled came from the mid-15th century when it referred to giving someone the title of an estate or property.

Feeling that you have a right to the good things in life without necessarily having to work for them.

Having been the recipient of leaders (yes, LEADERS, in my volunteer life) expecting special privileges, my heart sank. My kids can’t act like that.

What do I do?

I searched further. Certainly, my kids can’t be entitled.

What are the signs of teen entitlement?

Our teenagers deserve a little entitlement in our homes. Where else are they going to get it? Let’s let our kids be kids and not rush them into adulthood for fear of the future. Let’s catch them doing good things and give out lots of high-fives!

After all, our kids no longer camp out in our bedroom. Sometimes I wish they would (on the floor, in their own space, they ARE taller than me)! I miss those days!

Wouldn’t you know? Justine came home from school and folded the towels without any prodding. She even put them away! I’ll take that as a sign she was grateful I had done her laundry!

The evening could have been much different had I chosen to meet the attitude. Alright, in all fairness, the girl probably didn’t have an attitude when asking me to do her laundry. She was simply asking a question and I, feeling guilty for not doing the laundry, took it the wrong way. That’s full disclosure right there!

Our teens are entitled to special treatment and the good things in life! Work will come soon enough.

Love and Joy!